Bullies make me sick!

OK...well, this is a REALLY long way from a blog post about amateur photography...

I cannot believe the number of my friends that have or know kids that are being bullied.  The worst case I heard of was a kid getting beaten up for wearing his cadet uniform...on Remembrance Day!  

Last fall there were a number of bullying events that made national (and international) headlines.  These events led to the "It Gets Better" campaign.  All in all, I think this is a great concept, but I'm really of two minds about it.  On the one hand...bullying has become less taboo to talk about - that's good.  On the other hand...it kinda makes it sound like you have to suck it up...and THEN it will get better.  I'm hoping that's just my extra-jaded perception.

Tonight, yet another friend of mine was seeking some counsel as to how to deal with a bully...and a child that is that bully's victim.  It's odd...but think about it...you hear the word BULLY all the time.  When was the last time you heard that little Johnny was the VICTIM.  You don't...people say "Johnny was bullied" or "Johnny is being bullied"...but not very many use the correct term...VICTIM!!  

"Johnny is the VICTIM of that bully".  Does that make it sound more urgent?  A matter to be dealt with swiftly?  When we do not use the word "victim" does it give the impression that there is NO victim?  

So, I told my friend (Ms Beautiful), that there are a few things to do:

• don't equate today's bullying to anything we might have experienced...it's seems to be nastier and thanks to technology can go 'viral' really quickly.  
• go to the source of the problem (school, sports team, whatever) and insist on a meeting with the bully's parents.  
• if the kid has any hint of self-esteem issue, get the kid help...if it's a shrink it's a shrink, if it's karate classes -- that's cool too.

There's so much else to add: don't ignore it, or hope it will blow over!  Don't hesitate in getting the authorities involved.  And for heaven's sake DON'T think it's just kids being kids.  It isn't!  We all know that kid-bullies grow up to be adult-bullies (or worse!), but they don't "grow out of it".

I hope the kid in this instance is doing OK and getting lots of reassurance that this is NOT his/her doing.  I know Ms Beautiful is a loving and nurturing person and I that will go a long way.

Sorry, I thought my rant was over.  Apparently, I still feel like I have something to answer for...you see my child was a victim.  That was a VERY long time ago...before "It gets better", before Facebook, before blogs and even before the Internet...so yeah...it was a long time ago.  

But the self-esteem issues that are acquired by the victims of these cowardly, petty tyrants we call "bullies" can last a lifetime.

Bullies make me sick...they are cowards that get pleasure out of making other people miserable.

Sylbert

ps - that's a pigeon not a dove...but it was the closest I could come up with ...